Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.

As a business owner, these qualities can enhance both your communications with your customers and how you deal with life in general. If you have the capability of understanding your own emotions and the reasons you react the way you do, it will give you a better understanding of why others are reacting the way they do when you come into contact with them regarding business matters.

In order to thrive, a high level of emotional intelligence is necessary. Take, for example, someone who angers easily, who lacks control over their emotions. Their inability to see the cause of their emotional instability usually leads to job loss, relationship problems and sometimes ill health. While there is such a thing as healthy stress and it can be a motivator in times of crises, most stress that we deal with tends to be of the unhealthy variety.

A person with a high EQ level usually keeps their cool instead of becoming angry, they don’t complain about the small things in life, if at all, and they avoid drama at all costs. They are self aware and self composed, understanding that stress reduction is important. They usually possess a good sense of humour and if conflict arises that can’t be avoided, they work through it as quickly as possible.

Can emotional intelligence be learned?

EQ is a skill and like all skills, it takes practise, knowledge of your own shortcomings and the ability to apply a skill to your life circumstances. Each person responds differently to stress just as all business owners are different and they will have to learn which stressors in their business have the most effect on them. Unlike IQ, which tends to be linked to learning at a younger age, particularly in music, EQ includes the ability to be aware of oneself and our emotions.

Since EQ has a huge effect on problem solving, the higher your emotional intelligence, the better equipped you will be to deal with all aspects of your business. Though intangible, we see it in those who are socially aware, competent in a variety of situations and measured by performance. Someone with a high EQ is able to train themselves to use behaviours that will benefit them. They can modify their own behaviour to the extent that it changes their whole world.

Business involves networking with people who have completely different personalities than your own. Understanding yourself means understanding others and it also means influencing others. Your emotional intelligence can be improved and because of that you can also learn to overcome challenges that you once found impossible to deal with.

© Chris Draper, DemGen Inc. 2015

Your customers are making what you feel are unfair demands of you, yet you smile, acknowledge their complaint but do nothing about it. At least not immediately. While telling them that everything will be fine, you will fix whatever is wrong, you really have no intention in changing a thing.

You wonder why they’re so upset, over what seems such a trivial matter, and sometimes even tell them, (in a very nice way of course), to settle down, they are overreacting.

Passive aggressive business owners are as common as passive aggressive people. You go out of your way to resist the demands or requests of others. You procrastinate, complain, sulk and purposely avoid doing what needs to be done.

How does this affect your business?

Passive aggressive behaviour comes into play when your negative feelings about someone or something build to the point that it impacts your life and because you’re holding these feelings in, some outward display of destructive behaviour shows up instead.

A business, just like life, always has problems intermittently and a business owner has to be able to handle whatever crops up. If you tend toward being passive aggressive, there will always be an excuse to avoid problems or just not deal with them at all. Whatever happens will always be the fault of others, not you. Competition will be another issue as you will refuse to involve yourself in it or will create some type of scenario where you have been victimized in one way or another.

A business owner needs to be able to communicate, honestly, with his or her customers, clients and others involved in the running of their business. Avoiding the truth, putting off payments, turning a blind eye to what needs to be done will eventually create confusion and resentment in all of the involved parties.

Learning to take responsibility for your actions is the first thing a passive aggressive business owner needs to do. The best way to do this is by looking at how your behaviour affects not only yourself but your business and others around you. Take the time to think before you respond to others and decide why you wish to respond in a certain way or not respond at all! Your reactions should tell you a lot about yourself, and your feelings to your outside circumstances.

Be aware that others may eventually have to set boundaries to control how your behaviour affects their lives. Just like you, their responses and reactions have a reason behind them. You are aiming for consistency, in a good way, and you will need to learn how the outcome of certain behaviours will mean success or not in your business.

© Chris Draper, DemGen Inc. 2015